La Cinquième Montagne

Back in 2003, I watched the infamous Trigun series on Adult Swim.

It’s the story of a wanderer. “I’m like a hunter of peace. One who chases the elusive mayfly of love… or something like that,” he informs the inquisitive bystander.

Vache’s story is cliche –  a man of peculiar origin who parts from his evil twin at an early age and traverses the lands performing acts of goodwill towards strangers. Though the animation is dated and main episode events are straight forward,  the show, to me, is more about ideals than guns. It’s great example of how  principles can be intertwined in a plot without becoming obnoxious.

As a child, the parentless Vache had a mentor by the name of Rem who served as his moral compass and taught him about equality, right, and wrong. Naturally, the evil Twin, Knives, had no use for such things. His ideals were a bit similar to that of IBPG’s entitled 18 year old sister – “If I’m better than everyone, I should be allowed to act like it.”

When Vache and his brother first separated, Knives scoffed, “After 15 years, are you still so affected by that ridiculous nonsese? That fantasy world created for you by the woman who lived and died by contradiction?” It turns out Vache and Knives are superhumanoids – man made experiments that went wrong, sort of.

While Vache remains vehemently faithful to Rem’s teachings on the value of peace, love, and the preservation of human life – good and bad, he’s constantly faced with situations where her black and white ideals don’t quite fit. In times of moral dilemma, he recalls memories of his interactions with her in attempt to answer the question, “What would Rem do?”

The struggle reaches its climax when Vache is forced to choose between killing an enemy and witnessing the murder of two close friends. Rem’s teachings utterly fail, and Vache must take responsibility for a no win decision. After the devastation from his first truly murderous act subsides, something new comes over Vache – complete internal peace. The film’s final scene transpires with Vache confronting Kinves for the last time.

Did the humans treat you well? Did you have fun, dear brother?
I did, yeah. Best thing that ever happened to me….
It’s hopeless isn’t it?
I’ve made my decision.
You’re not a human being. You’re a plant.
I know that.
You’re a superior being!
I disagree.

The fight ends with Vache defeating but not killing Knives. As he bandages his Brother’s wounds, hoists him onto his shoulder, and walks off into the distance (I told you it was cliche), Vache parts with these final words,

Rem, I will continue to believe in you, but from now on, I will look to my own words for guidance.

I don’t know if it’s comforting or disconcerting that every Christmas I find myself exactly where I was a year ago – literally. Most of me wonders if I’m better or worse off than I was this time last year.

2010 had some dark moments. In April I got dumped by my SO and promptly flunked my phd candidacy exam. (For those that don’t know, candidacy is tenure for grad students – if I don’t get it, I have to go work at Wendy’s.) In July lab mate of two years went home and left me with three months of work I didn’t know existed. In November, an family member was diagnosed with cancer.

Yes indeed, the majority of those events were a direct result of my own poor choices. (HA HA! Captain Obvious strikes again.) Gloom seems like the most natural emotion here, but at this point, that seems silly. It’s juvenile to expect 10 months of poor relationship decisions and shoddy research to yield a story book ending.

I must be careful not to label 2010 with a superlative and do the year a great disservice in attempting to condense it into a simple statement of bitterness OR pity. Really, 2010 was full of good and bad moments like all the years that came before it.

It was the year I retook and passed my candidacy exam. It was the year I traveled to NYC to learn techniques that make me even LESS appealing to women. It was the year I became real life friends with an old girlfriend. It was the year gained seniority in my lab. It was the year I learned to let go of dead social weight. It was the year I gave up on cheap hair dye. It was year I made it back to sub 7 minute miles (first time since 1999). It was the year I learned to play squash. It was the year broke my 5 year streak of lousy homemade bread.

I hope the coming 12 months will yield fruits of a comparable caliber.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good…morning.

P.S. Remember the words of Brother Donaghy, “‘Happy Holidays’ is what terrorists say.”

Some time ago, I posted a list of correlations that are indicative of friendship with me. It’s recently become clear that some people in my life are not full fledged friends (FFF’s?), but they are not inconsequential either. Last night, one of them mentioned that she was nowhere close to “friend” territory but was curious where she ranked anyway.

Before formally responding, I list my current classifications in increasing order of dislike:
Friend - I will expend energy, time, and/or money to be around you.
Mostly Friend – I like you and will spend time with you when it’s convenient for both of us
Kinda Friend – I like you and will sometimes start a conversation with you.
Dude (or acquaintance) – I happily tolerate your presence in the room, but unless you do/say something intriguing, I won’t start a conversation with you. While I’d rather sit in a corner and think than interact with you, you are still welcome to initiate contact.
People – I have no interest in your existence and estimate your intelligence to be that of a rhododendron.
Ex* – I would prefer you didn’t exist at all.

Today I’ll describe what I think counts* as a “kinda friend” or “mostly friend”
1. We’ve been on a road trip together
2. You can claim an item on my FFF list
3. We’ve had a discussion about movies
4. You know what discipline I study
5. We’ve gone to a restaurant as a group of 6 or less
6. I’ve made fun of you to your face
7. You made fun of me to my face
8. You’ve invited me to your house for any reason except a birthday party
9. You’ve commented to me on my poor fashion sense
10. You’ve asked me a question other people can’t answer
11. We are Google Talk buddies
12. We’ve been in a picture together
13. We’ve gathered somewhere to watch a TV show
14. You’ve stood in my kitchen and talked to me

If you can claim 6+ items, we are Mostly Friends.
If you can claim 2+ items, we are Kinda Friends.

*Given its relatively high energy, the laws of thermodynamics cause the “ex” to degrade to the more stable “people” over time.
**Note this list is ongoing, so I will probably edit it soon.

Truly my life is luxurious…even if it is so via free software.

But not this guy. I just wasn’t a paying attention to what my feet were stepping on while I sprinted up a hill. Damn random pile of gravel. Damn soft squishy body. Forget bionic limbs. I want bionic skin.